The Highlander's Secret Read online

  Alan took the crook his thumb beneath her chin and lifted her face to look at him. “I’ve seen the way ye look, always up and outwards in the distance like yer heart is somewhere else. If ye could have the life ye choose, what would ye do with it?”

  “Why does it matter? It’s not as if anything of consequence would come of it. My heart is full of foolish dreams.”

  “What resides in yer heart matters to me,” he told her. “It’s been a while since we had the chance to really talk.”

  Jain considered that for a moment, shifting her body towards him so they faced each other properly. “Ye already ken what I would do. I want to see other places like my Aunt Nora,” she told him, her words coming out in a rush. “I want to go to Inverness and see its great markets. I want to go to the seashore. It’s been ages since I’ve seen the sea, and the waves have such majesty. I could stare off into the horizon and get lost fer hours, imagining what lies beyond it. The salt in the air and gentle rocking of the ship, I’d give anything to see a distant land and all the life this world has to offer.”

  Alan listened to her in awe, captivated by the passion in her voice. It was not just the flight of fancy; this was what her heart truly craved. And if that was the case, Alan wanted nothing more than to help make her dreams come true.

  Jain noticed him staring at her and blushed. “It’s silly.”

  “No, it’s not,” he assured her. “Ye’ve always talked of exploring the great beyond. I’ve always been curious about the lands beyond Elign. I’ve only been south of Alves, but one time when Bruce and I were travelling to Aberdeen we stopped at a cliff to eat. The moors stretched out forever and all I could think of was what was at the end. And how very small I felt, and how very much I had left to see. I wish ye could have seen it, Jain.”

  Jain’s eyes sparkled with excitement as he told her about their trip, soaking up every word. It brought him a sense of pride knowing he was one of the few people that could open her up to speak – it was like watching a flower bloom.

  “I wish I could have been there too,” she sighed. “I want to see those things, discovering places I’ve never even heard of as I set off on a grand adventure. Of all the places ye could have gone, why did ye choose Elign?”

  Alan grinned. “I’m not sure exactly. It just ended up that way. Fer some reason Bruce took a liking to me when he visited our village and invited me back with him. There weren’t any prospects fer me there, so I had to take any job he gave me.”

  “Do ye miss yer family?”

  “Sometimes,” he admitted. “I have two sisters back at home, but I’ve found the company here is better.”

  When Alan finished speaking, he looked over at her and smiled. Jain gazed back at him, her eyes reflecting in the moonlight like liquid pools of emerald green. Her lips fell open in a pout, only serving to accentuate how round and kissable they looked.

  God help him, Alan wanted her.

  He noticed her eyes grow dark as they stared at each other. Alan could feel the palpable yearning in the air between them and could only assume she felt it too.

  When Jain turned away, Alan’s smile faltered, fading slightly when he took her by the hand. “One day, Jain. I will show ye the land ye dream about. I will take ye there with me.”

  ~ * ~

  Jain grinned. His brown eyes gazed back at her, meeting the silent challenge. After a moment she relented, seeming to accept his sincerity once more.

  Shifting her back against the tree, Jain asked, “And what do ye want, Alan?”

  He leaned in close enough that she could feel his breath against her face. Cool, dark and masculine. She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes, exhaling as they conspired close together.

  “To see ye smile,” he murmured. “To hear yer voice every day fer as long as I live.”

  Her eyes widened. “My voice?”

  “Aye, to hear ye speak is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. Yer voice is like music—like the songs birds sing.”

  Jain blushed, wetting her bottom lip unconsciously as she gazed up at him. “Is that what ye want? A pretty song bird to take back with ye in a cage?”

  “Nae,” he said. “Birds are not meant to be locked up with nowhere to roam. They’re meant to fly with the wind beneath their wings and see the world.”

  Jain laughed, her voice bubbling with carefree wonder. “And ye would set me free. Is that what ye’re suggesting?”

  Alan nodded with sincerity. “Aye. I see ye. I see ye fer the beauty that ye are. Ye deserve the adventure that ye long fer.”

  Her confidence waivered. A whisper of longing passed through her, tightening her chest. She turned to him and said, “Mayhap, but this is what God saw fit to give me and fer that I’m grateful.”

  Gently, Alan took her by the hand and turned so they faced each other properly. “I would see that ye have the great adventure ye desire.”

  “Dinnae let my da hear ye say that,” Jain warned him. “He’d hear nothing of the sort. He and Moira would have me married, settled down and with a brood of children.”

  “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” he conceded. “But is that what ye want?”

  Jain shook her head, biting back the smile that was fighting to break free.

  “Adventure it is then.”

  Jains heart fluttered from the contact as she gazed up at him and said, “I ken.”

  Chapter Seven

  Alan and Jain walked together along the dirt path back to her family’s farm. In the distance, a faint hooting of an owl broke through the evening silence. Neither of them spoke, but Jain felt something odd pulling her towards him like water being washed upon the shore. It was undeniable and difficult to resist. Every now and then, she would glance in his direction while carrying her bucket of water.

  After they made it back to the house, they joined the others who were already sitting around the table. While eating the loaves Jain made earlier and bowls of thick pottage, they discussed the upcoming Harvest Festival. She was unusually quiet while the others ate, but thankfully no one noticed. Her thoughts were elsewhere, still lingering outside on her conversation with Alan. Every now and then, she would glance over in his direction and Alan looked back at her with a secret smile that made her stomach flip and forget everything else around them.

  “I’ve heard that it’s going to be wonderful this year,” her cousin gushed. “Are ye lads planning to attend?”

  The young blacksmith nodded, brushing some of his blond hair to the side of his face. “Aye, I wouldn’t be missing it. Are ye planning on going too, Aileen?”

  Jain’s cousin nodded. “Aye, Jain and I have been looking forward to it fer weeks.”

  Alan smiled, taking a bite of his food. “Then perhaps ye’ll do me the honor of saving at least one dance.”

  She giggled at his request and said, “Of course.”

  Alan’s gaze then turned to Jain as he continued. “And ye, Jain? Would ye be willing to share a dance with me as well?”

  Jain chuckled, feeling the heat come rushing to her cheeks. “I suppose it would be rude to deny such a polite request. Dinnae ye think, Mam?”

  Moira nodded from the kitchen with the hint of a smile on her face. “Very rude. Ye best accept.”

  Jain laughed. “Of course, Alan. T’would be my pleasure.”

  Somehow, she finished their evening meal and bid Alan and Rodrick farewell. They thanked Jain’s family for their hospitality and promised to return the following morning to complete working on the roof. Jain stood in the doorway, watching them leave in the flickering light of the fire. What did Alan mean by telling her these things?

  When they disappeared into shadow, Jain closed the wooden door and helped her mother and Aileen clean the dishes from the table.

  “That went well,” Moira commented.

  Jain’s mouth dropped in shock before she realized the remark was addressed to Aileen. Her graceful, love-struck cousin was grinning from ear to ear. “Aye. Do ye think he lik
es me?”

  Eamon chuckled, hanging his cloak up on the wall and said, “He’d be a fool not to, darling. Even so, a lad like him knows better than to ask for yer hand in marriage before yer mam gets back.”

  Aileen nodded. “I ken, but I worry fer her.”

  Jain’s father and Keenan never supported their sister’s merchanting because it took her away from home. Strong willed as she was though, they knew it was pointless to argue with her. Keenan did the best he could to protect her by sending along some men to aid in the endeavor. She always came back with fantastic stories of the places she had been, and enough coin to line their pockets and fill the village coffers.

  Moira crossed to their side and wrapped her arm around Aileen’s shoulders. “The chieftain sent two warriors along with her fer protection. They will keep her safe.”

  Aileen sighed. “I wish she was already home.”

  Jain rubbed a soothing hand down her cousins back. “Dinnae fash yerself. She’ll be home soon, and nae doubt with a purse filled with coin.”

  Moira patted her on the arm. “These things take time, love. Be patient.”

  “What about Uncle Keenan? If he doesn’t give his permission—”

  Jain smiled at her cousin. “Then Da will knock some sense into him.”

  “That I will,” Eamon agreed.

  Jain gave Aileen’s hand a reassuring squeeze. She knew that Rodrick cared for Aileen, he’d confessed to Jain as much. In truth he only needed their laird’s permission. Still, Rodrick had no wish to disrespect Nora—especially given what a formidable woman she was.

  “What about ye, Jain?” her cousin asked. “Ye’ve barely said a word since returning from the river.”

  Jain’s pulse quickened at the memory of her conversation with Alan, but she smiled back at her and shrugged. “I suppose. But ‘tis lovely that Rodrick has taken a liking to ye, though,” she said, hoping to bring the conversation back to Aileen and Rodrick. She wasn’t ready to talk about herself and Alan.

  Aileen scoffed. “Oh, ye minx. Dinnae go trying to change the subject. We’re not talking about Rodrick and me now, we’re talking about ye.”

  “I’m just happy fer ye, that’s all,” Jain told her with a smile.

  “Ye were gone fer quite a while,” Aileen persisted. “What were ye and Alan talking about on the road?”

  Jain swallowed carefully and continued with her work, but didn’t turn around. “Oh, nothing much. He and Rodrick did a fine job on the roof,” she offered in hopes of changing the conversation yet again.

  As much as she loved her cousin, Jain wished that she wouldn’t pester her about her relationship with Alan. She could feel her cheeks getting hot already and Jain’s father cleared his throat and placed his arm around her shoulder. He must have sensed her discomfort and came to save her from having to discuss the matter further.

  “That they did,” Eamon agreed. “And the blade he brought was fine work, too. He’s a talented man, that Alan.”

  Jain gave him an appreciative smile before kissing him on the forehead, and went to help with the rest of the cleaning.

  “Mmmm,” Moira hummed in agreement. “Everything he does is executed with such care. He doesn’t just perform a task. He excels at it. It’s a noble skill to have.”

  “Yes. Yes, it is,” Jain said quiet enough that no one else could hear. When she glanced back at her mother, Jain recognized the exhaustion in her gait. Rushing to her side, Jain gently took the cloth that Moira was holding and offered her arm for support. “Mam, let me do that. Ye’re tired. Aileen and I can do the rest.”

  Her mother’s hip had been ailing her for quite some time now and made it difficult to walk near the end of the day. She hadn’t been the same since the accident a few months ago. Jain and Eamon always encouraged her to take it easy, but she rarely listened. Her health was otherwise good, but moving around the cottage wore her out faster than it did before. Moira looked back at her as if she would refuse, but thought twice about it. Instead, she patted her gently on the hand. “Ye’re a good lass,” her mother crooned. “Eamon, could ye help me to the bed?”

  After Jain transferred her weight to Eamon, she watched them leave with a worried expression. He helped her into the sleeping quarters and they prepared themselves for bed. It was a blessing Aileen was staying with them while her Mam was traveling to Inverness. Even if she was another mouth too feed, she helped the burden of chores Moira could no longer do.

  Jain turned away and joined Aileen in cleaning and refreshed the house. Feeling the effects of the busy day, Jain was grateful when they finished. The light was dim from the burning embers of the fire. Jain removed her outer garment then sat on the edge of the bed to untie the wrappings of her hair. As it came undone, her red tresses fell down across her back in gentle waves. Jain shook it out and snuggled underneath the covers to rest her head against the pillows. There was barely enough room for the two of them, and even though it was cold outside, the warmth of their family fire kept them comfortable through the night.

  “What’s gotten into ye?” Aileen whispered. “Ye dinnae seem yerself today.”

  Jain rolled over, resting her head against the pillow and attempted to smile. The fabric felt soft against her cheek and she inhaled the familiar scent of goose feathers. “There’s a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

  Aileen pouted at her response, propping herself up on one of her elbows and fidgeting with edge the blanket. “It isn’t good fer ye to worry so much. Mayhap ye should start thinking about finding a husband.”

  Jain scoffed and rolled back against the pillow to stare up at the ceiling. “Not ye too. That’s all I hear about these days.”

  “Ye’re the proper age,” her cousin argued. “Eamon and Moira won’t be around forever, and ye’ve got to think about yer future.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I have nae intention of hunting myself a husband, nae matter how many times ye or my parents ask me. Just because I’m old enough doesn’t mean I should be obligated to marry.”

  “Ye dinnae want to end up a spinster,” Aileen reminded her. “Ye’re too sweet and maternal to not be a mother. We just want ye to be happy.”

  “I’m happy now,” she insisted. But even as she said the words, Jain knew they were not entirely true. Certainly, she was content in Elign and grateful to Moira and Eamon, but always there was an undeniable restlessness that only seemed to worsen as she grew older. Some days, she wished she could be more like Aileen and the other lasses in the clan and think of nothing but marriage and children.

  Aileen reached out from beneath the blankets and gave her a warm embrace. “I’m sorry.”

  Jain sighed, hugging her back and said, “It’s alright.”

  “And I’m sorry if I got carried away about the talk with Rodrick. He’s just … perfect. It’s almost too good to be true.”

  Jain grinned, placing her forehead next to Aileen’s and offering a mischievous grin. “Now that kind of talk I dinnae mind in the least.”

  Aileen smiled and then let out a rasping cough.

  Jain’s eyebrow furrowed with concern. She eyed her nervously and asked, “Are ye feeling all right?”

  Her cousin nodded with her hand against her chest and said, “It’s nothing, I must have just over done it today.”

  They laughed for a while, whispering to each other until Aileen fell asleep. Even after the rest of the house was deep in slumber, Jain stayed awake, listening to the gentle bleating of the lamb and cattle in the other room. She listened to her cousin sleeping and noticed that her breathing became labored. Jain knew the cold air wasn’t good for her and hoped that in the morning she could convince her cousin not to work so hard.

  Jain pulled the blanket up over them and hummed into the darkness. She lay there quietly for a while and her thoughts returned to Alan with his beautiful singing on the road. He had the most amazing voice and it brought her comfort to remember the song like it was a lullaby.

  Then her thoughts drifted into something dif
ferent, imagining Alan in the bed beside her with his arms wrapped around her waist. A sigh escaped before she realized what was happening and pictured them holding her tight, with his lips grazed against her ear.

  Jain’s pulse quickened at the thought and she realized that something between them had changed. He didn’t look at her the same. It was more intense. Even knowing his eyes were on her made Jain’s entire body tingle and cause her breathing to become labored.

  When did he go from being the lad she’s always known to the handsome blacksmith that infiltrated her private dreams?

  She never fancied any of the lads in the village like that, or even romanticized the concept of marriage, but Alan was different. He wasn’t like the men who’d destroyed their settlement on the coast. Proud as she was of her Viking roots, Jain could see herself spending a life with him. She would accept a Scottish husband if he was a man like Alan, but was it love? Jain wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

  Chapter Eight

  Jain yawned as she finished her morning meal, still waking up from the night before. She hadn’t slept well and spent a few hours tossing and turning before she was able to fall asleep. Her red hair was unbound, hanging down across her shoulders and she brought her bowl over to the wash bucket. “Thank ye, Mam.”

  “Ye’re welcome, dear.”

  Moira kissed her hair and walked over to the door to retrieve her shawl to wrap around her shoulders. “I’m off to help yer da with the chicken coop. Let me ken when Alan and Rodrick get here.”

  Jain and Aileen both nodded, watching the woman leave through the open doorway. After she was gone, Jain let out a tired sigh.

  She picked up a rag and was starting to dry her hands, when glancing out the door she saw Alan and Rodrick coming up the hill. Alan was carrying a set of tools with him and his long blond hair glistened in the sunlight. Jain tried to conceal her excitement at having them return, but her stomach was doing summersaults and she felt her breathing hitch. A secret place in her heart wondered if he could tell that she’d been dreaming of him the night before. Her cheeks felt hot at the scandalous memory and Jain quickly pushed it from her mind. Aileen hummed to herself as she danced around the house cleaning up dishes and helping to put things away.