The Devil's Due (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 2) Page 21

  “How come you’re eating it that way instead of just digging in?” I asked her curiously.

  She picked up one of the fluffy white kernels and popped it in her mouth with the pair of wooden sticks. “Because I want to eat the popcorn and not have greasy, buttery fingers afterward.”

  I blinked a couple times as Lacey and I both stared at her. “I’m not sure if that makes you a genius or crazy.”

  Charlene laughed, “Call it whatever you want, you know I’m right.”

  I grinned, tugging lightly at the chain around my neck. Charley noted my distraction and popped another kernel in her mouth. “What’s up, Wynn?”

  “Huh?”

  “That’s the fourth time I’ve caught you playing with your necklace, it’s a bit of a nervous tick for you.”

  My jaw dropped slightly, and I started at her like a deer in the headlights.

  “It’s no big deal,” she reassured me. “Just don’t plan on winning a game of Poker anytime soon.”

  Lacey raised an eyebrow. “Wynn?”

  “Ugh, it’s nothing. Things between me and Caleb are just … tense.”

  “Still?” Charley asked me in surprise.

  I nodded dismally, and Lacey whipped her head around towards me. “Yeah, I noticed something was up between you two. I thought it was no big deal. What’s going on?”

  “Things were going so well, but lately it feels like we're going around in circles. Anytime we’re together there’s always this frustration … now he’s pissed off and offended because he told me he loves me and I didn’t say it back.”

  “Ooh….”

  They both made a face and grimaced at the same time. “Yeah, that would do it.”

  “What? We’re just at different places in our relationship.”

  “Are you, though?” Lacey argued. “I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

  “So? I don’t wanna be guilted into saying something just because everyone expects it and thinks I should. I’m not gonna give in to peer pressure.”

  “No one is saying to confess something you don’t feel, but you DO feel it. You’re holding back anyway. It’s hurting you and the man you love for no good reason. Caleb knows you love him, but he needs to hear it sometimes.”

  “Lacey’s right, what’s your hang up?” Charlene added.

  “If I say it, it’s real, then Aidan can take it away from me. Remember what happened to my mother; it RUINED her. Love makes you irrational. It makes you do crazy things, only they don't seem crazy at the time because you're not thinking clearly.”

  Charley's cherubic mouth dropped at the corners into a frown. “Yeah, crazy things like saving the man they love from dying with a potion?”

  “I didn’t mean it like that….”

  She sighed and pressed me harder. “I think you're gonna have to give him this one, babe. He’s committed to you; you need to commit as well, or you’re going to lose him. I spent a lifetime never knowing what it was like to be loved by another person. Now I have Ryan. Look at me and Ryan. I know I don't deserve him, but he loves me anyway. Love isn’t given to people just because the universe has determined they have ‘earned’ it. It’s given openly and freely because we want to. It’s giving yourself to another person and making yourself vulnerable and that makes it wonderful, because it was a choice, and knowing they chose to be in love with you too. Don’t deny yourself that experience because of fear. Some people never know that joy. We’re all scared, but you’ll never know love unless you surrender to it. Aidan wants you miserable. If you want to beat Aidan, be happy, stay in love with Caleb, and stop giving him power over you. You fought back, that made you interesting. He’s the Lord of Pride, he likes a challenge. By reacting to him, you’re playing into his trap.”

  “But what if he hurts someone?”

  “So what if he does? People get hurt every day, that doesn’t make it your fault or responsibility to fix. You can’t hold yourself responsible for his actions.”

  I tried to imagine a life without Caleb, but all I came up with was cold, empty and meaningless. I sat back on the cushioned sofa and had the painful realization they were right. The only thing standing in the way of my own happiness and being with the man I loved, was me. It was the Whelan Curse; I was being needlessly self-destructive and continuing the vicious cycle.

  I was not my mother, and I wouldn’t harden my heart and make the same mistakes she did. I would not let the Whelan Curse have any power over me — I would become the master of my own fate, starting with claiming what was already mine. That would require surrendering part of my independence, part of myself, to him — but that was a price I’d be willing to make. I had to open my heart to him for real and risk the chance of being rejected.

  I rolled off the couch and went to grab my bag out of my room. As I was throwing on my shoes, Lacey asked, “Where are you going?”

  “I have to go do something.”

  ~ * ~

  Knock knock Knock!

  Rain was pouring down by the time I made it to Caleb’s apartment. Only a small light was on in the kitchen, so I wasn't entirely sure he'd be awake, I had to talk to him. A crack of thunder sounded in the distance, and I knocked on his door again - knock knock!

  Eventually, the light came on, and when I heard him unlock the door my heart was thrilled to know I'd see him. My hair and clothes were completely soaked, my hair snaked down my back in matted, red curls. I wasn't even worried about what he'd think of my appearance — there were more pressing things I needed to discuss.

  The door creaked open, and I found Caleb shirtless in pajama bottoms hanging off his hips in a seductive manner. His messy, brunet hair was all askew from being roused as he rubbed the back of his neck to figure out what was going on. “Wynn? What are you doing here this late, it's one in the morning?”

  “I know,” I responded instantly. “But I couldn't sleep.”

  He rubbed his eyes to remove the sleep from them and clarified, “So you decided to wake me up?”

  “No, I came here to tell you I'm in love with you.”

  He stopped was he was doing and looked up at me in surprise. “Say that again?”

  “I'm in love with you,” I repeated slowly, emboldened by his reaction and taking a step towards him. “I always have been, I was just too stupid to admit it. I didn’t want to say it because that would give Aidan one more thing he could take away from me. But you were never safe from him in the first place, and not saying it doesn’t mean it’s not true. I promise from here on out, when it comes to you and me, I'm all in, Caleb! I’m all in.”

  I was crying by the end of my declaration. The emotional armor I’d been wearing lay in a puddle at my feet. I was completely vulnerable. What happened now was up to him.

  “This isn’t going to end well, you know that, don’t you?” I continued. “I’m still a demon, and I’m still on trial. I have to fight Lucifer who trained me. It has the potential to end badly, but I still want to be with you. I can't hold back just because our time might be cut short. You've made me a better person. We bring out the best in each other.”

  “You love me?”

  “I do! Haven’t you been listening? I love you. I was resigned to a life of solitude when I found out I was a demon, then still when I fell in love with an angel because of what I am. I love you because you make me stronger, and you challenge me and make me strive harder every day.”

  His eyes darkened as if looking me over for the first time, a primeval hunger in his gaze as he pushed away from the doorframe and took me in his arms. This time, as his lips found me, it was more passionate than all the others. The way we fell into one another, I doubt we would have noticed if the building went up in flames.

  My lips parted in the midst of one of these open-mouthed kissed and allowed his tongue to sneak inside.

  I grabbed hold of the waistband on his pants and pressed up against him. His responding groan brought a smile to my lips as he was kissing me, and he knotted his fingers in my hair. />
  Kissing Caleb and feeling his hands against my skin was the only thing I could think about. I'd meant what I’d said before, and I wasn't going to hold back from him anymore.

  His lips broke from mine and left a trail of kisses down my neck, sending a jolt of hot confusion coursing through my body. Electric tingles ran up and down along my spine in a delicious need to hold him and have his body pressed against mine. I tilted my head to give him better access and let out an involuntary sigh. “Caleb...” l breathed out dreamily, “I love you.”

  He cradled my face in his hands and pulled away briefly so that he could whisper, “You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that.”

  I breathed out a ragged laugh before kissing him again and losing myself completely in his touch. My body ignited beneath his hands and I all I could think about was this magnificent creature had pledged himself to me. His lips were on me once again, and I wrapped myself around him like a snake in another one of his passionate kisses. A moment later, I felt myself being lifted off the ground as he carried me back into the apartment.

  Had I been able to think coherently, I might have laughed, but my lips had become otherwise occupied. Whatever happened tonight, I would not regret it. I needed him. It would just be him and me now, devouring each other with kisses.

  ~ * ~

  I sighed happily into the pillow and roused dreamily in Caleb’s bed. My body was still buzzing from his touch where I’d fallen asleep beside him. I reached out and realized the bed was empty and there were voices in the kitchen.

  “This is a slippery slope,” a man’s voice told him seriously. “Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”

  “Yes, I don’t care what the Council thinks. I didn’t just come here to be with Wynn, but I keep coming back to her time and time again. She makes me happy.”

  I carefully eased one eye open as I eavesdropped on their conversation. Caleb was standing by the sink with a glass of water in his hand talking to an angel leaning back against the counter. The only light came from the dim bulb above the stove, casting long shadows across their faces in the moonlight.

  The angel beside him nodded. “Well, you wanted a mundane life, and you got it. Is it everything you expected?”

  Caleb shrugged taking a drink from his glass and letting out a tired sigh. “I’m not sure what to tell you, Eric. It’s not what I expected, but it’s worth it. I find it surprisingly satisfying coming home from a long day of honest work, it’s even better knowing someone is there waiting who loves you. It’s ... life, it’s hard, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

  “I’m glad you’re happy, but is she worth it?”

  “Yes. Wynn is the only thing that makes sense to me anymore.”

  His companion frowned, his prominent brow line more visible in the shadows. “Are you so lonely you prefer her company to the rest of us? I thought we were brothers.”

  “You know what I mean, Eric. Being with her is...” he paused at a loss for words. “Intoxicating.”

  Eric nodded stiffly. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, and I don’t think it’s a healthy basis for a relationship. By your own admission, you just confessed your own relationship is toxic. Isn’t that why you keep trying to change her, and convince yourself she’s normal? Because you couldn’t love her if she decides to accept that part of herself and be a demon?”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, and the Council’s wrong,” Caleb argued. “I’ll take her either way.”

  His friend grimaced, ripping his eyes away from the growing tension. “We shall see.”

  Caleb set his drink down angrily on the counter and turned to him. “Yes, we shall. I’m not going to discuss this with you if you keep using my words and intent against me. I love her, I’m not going to let you drive a wedge between us.”

  “Alright, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you, brother.”

  “I know.”

  “Amanda and I are here for you, no matter what.”

  He nodded, drumming his fingers against the counter deep in thought. His face looked tired in the blue light reflected from the kitchen. “How did you and Amanda happen?” Caleb asked him curiously. “All these years, and you’ve never told me.”

  Instinctively, my eyes flickered to the blue sigil illuminated on the angel’s neck. I had almost forgotten about the archaic binding marker their race was bound by. Caleb’s had disappeared when he became mortal, and my memory of it had done the same.

  “Haven’t I?”

  Caleb shook his head.

  “She was a healing talent when we met. I was wounded in a battle. She stitched me back together. As I was recovering, we began to talk, and one day the flame ignited. Both of us at the same time felt this powerful burning in our neck, followed by complete euphoria. When I saw her after that, it was with new eyes, new understanding. She was mine, and I was hers. We’ve been together ever since.”

  “Florence Nightingale syndrome,” Caleb mused humorlessly. “I had no idea. Nevertheless, I’m glad for you.”

  “And you, my friend.”

  The angel turned his head slightly as if someone had called his name. “I must go.”

  “Duty calls,” Caleb affirmed. “Go in peace, I’ll see you again soon.”

  Eric left in a gust of wind and Caleb was left alone with his thoughts. He let out an exhausted sigh as he rolled his neck to relieve some muscle pain. He turned off the light above the stove and came to join me back in bed. I felt the blankets move as he slipped back between the sheets and I rolled over on the mattress to hug him. He brushed his hand along my arm affectionately and laid back against the pillow in response to my touch. I kissed him on the shoulder and said, “Welcome back.”

  “It isn’t nice to eavesdrop,” he teased me gently.

  “You knew?”

  Caleb scoffed in the darkness as if the answer should be obvious.

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be, he was the one intruding. You were here first.”

  I smiled, rolling over and relishing in the warmth of his body against mine. “I’m not going anywhere. Let’s get some sleep.”

  He didn’t respond, I just felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest when he breathed. Soon, I dozed off again with my arms wrapped around the man I loved.

  Huh, how about that? Love.

  ~ * ~

  I woke up curled against something solid and warm, nothing like a pillow.

  We'd repositioned in the night, and I'd somehow curled around him like a cat. My head was tucked under his chin, my cheek followed against his chest, which rose and fell with the low steady rhythm of his breathing.

  We had once again become dangerously close to getting physical. The fact we hadn't left me feeling both disappointed and relieved. I didn't know if our relationship would change if we ever took that step. Asmodea and the sin of Lust were still lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce at the first opportunity. She’d claimed she wouldn’t come at me through Caleb, but I didn’t trust her.

  Of course, I didn’t. Rule number one: Demons always lie.

  Still, I decided I was going to make the most of this, not knowing if I could ever open myself up to this beautiful man lying next to me. He roused slightly and rolled over on the pillow, opening his eyes to look at me.

  “I could get used to this,” he murmured happily, brushing his lips across my cheek.

  “What?”

  “Waking up next to you. Every morning should start like this.” I smiled, as he tucked a strawberry-blonde curl behind my ear. He kissed me, and I felt a surge of emotion follow before he pulled away and climbed off the mattress. “I’d invite you to stay, but I need to get to work.”

  I sighed in agreement. “Yeah, and I’ve got class.”

  “Do you want some coffee?”

  “Ugh, say that again,” I told him in a daze. “Yes, coffee would be great.”

  He grinned and carefully set the machine to brew. I sat up on the bed and rested my weig
ht on my elbows, watching him.

  “We’re really going to have to do something about that caffeine addiction of yours.”

  “Not in this lifetime.”

  Caleb chuckled as he got down mugs and pulled out the creamer from the fridge. “So, you were having some girl time, huh?” he asked me conversationally.

  “Yeah, we had Charley over. One of them was in Hello Kitty pajamas when I left, and I won’t tell which.”

  He shook his head indulgently and smiled. “I’m glad. It’s good for you to unwind. I’ll have to thank them for talking sense into you.”

  “Me too.”

  A calming silence fell across the kitchen for a moment as he drummed his fingers on the counter. Morning rays of sun came shining through the window and illuminated him from behind so he truly looked like the angel he was before. “Before I go … there’s something I wanted to give you.”

  I sat up taller and turned to him confused. “Oh?”

  He smiled and retrieved something small from the drawer in the kitchen. As he came to sit beside me, I felt the butterflies creeping up within my stomach. Emotions were still running high after last night’s confession, and I didn’t know where this conversation was going. Caleb took me by the hand and held it out to give me a tiny piece of metal. I blinked at it in awe as the smell of coffee started wafting through the kitchen. “A key?” I asked him, a little confused.

  “It’s a key to my apartment,” he explained. “I want you to know what’s mine is yours, it’s your place too. I’m not asking you to move in with me, but you should feel welcome here. This seemed like the logical next … step?”

  “Caleb, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Then don’t. Just take the key and use it whenever you need. I’m gonna get dressed.”

  “Okay.”

  While he stepped over to the closet, I busied myself with the coffee and poured a cup for both of us. I knew Caleb took his black, but I used a metric ton of sugar in mine to make the bitter bean juice taste palatable. He finished getting dressed, and we hurriedly raced out the door so we wouldn’t be late for either of our temporal responsibilities.